Houston...We have a problem...

Men aren't supposed to have tits right? I'm asking cause I work with this guy who is all on his own stick, but he's so fat he's missing his ankles, he has knees down to the top of his feet KANKLES!!! It's just nasty, he has titties, I mean he could breatfeed a small 3rd world country. He's the first man I've seen with cellulite! It's scary cause he thinks he's wonderful... I have to stop myself from laughing at him because I always want to reach out to fondle them(mantits) to see if they're like mine, you know soft to the touch. When he masterbates does he flick the nipples? I mean they jiggle when he runs..mantits...what's that all about? You would think he would buy himself a nice sports bra...I have a D cup and I can only wear Champion sports bras, I should offer him advice, I'm an expert on taking good care of your tits. He says I undermine his authority, I guess the fact that your thighs are rubbing together like they're trying to keep warm in the middle of a blizzard has no bearing on the fact that no one respects you? Or the fact that your ankles look like mashed potatoes oozing out of your stretched out socks...hmmm...maybe that's it. Sorry your ankle socks need more elastic.

"Hey Richard, does your wife suck your breast before or after you suck hers"

Just curious...they call him Breastina. Now that is some funny shit!


How the hell are you going to be deaf and be in the military...nothing against deaf people but hearing is not optional when people are trying to blow your ass up! JEEZ!


Do you ever wonder if your coworkers ever look at their spouses...I mean she looks like a crack whore man! Dental is free, give that bitch a sandwich!

God he smelled so fucking good, I swear I'm hitting my sexual peak or something... he can't put a sentence together but I wasn't thinking about having a conversation!


T.

Okay enough already....

So I'm reading other blogs because I just can't sleep and I keep thinking to myself who am I to judge what people choose to put in their shit? Well as the bitch that I am, the one most of my people know and love, I just can't help but say some of this shit is just well... shit. Reading it made me want to crawl back to my blog and delete all my own shit. Doubting my own crap, who really cares anyway right? Well obviously my lazy ass does! I mean words are like good sex if you can't get it right don't let the whole fuckin' world know it! Have some love for the all the wonderful words who have never hurt anyone, why are so many people trying to murder them? What is really going on in this world when even words aren't safe from mean stupid people, but hey that's just me judging again. Angry as I am I'm going to continue to click the button and "check out the next blog"...Go back and read your shit if you can't understand it or simply know it's just plain stupid consider yourself verbally smack like the triflin' no writin fuck up you are...it ain't gonna hurt if I didn't hit ya! Words are our friends...and it's obvious some of you don't have friends or simply don't know how to treat them...for shame!

Go ahead and "comment" something stupid...there's a reason "I'm not giving a fuck" people...stop crying... man up!

Can we talk?

It seems as if you have stopped talking...maybe I've been talking so much I just didn't hear...I remember a time when you talked to me and I could hear the laughter in your voice or sometimes the sadness, sometimes stress. The silence is lonely for me, but like other things I learned to make it thru my days without it. You want happiness, my happiness is not directly related to your words, but my heart is some how connected to the words that have been spoken in the past...and I miss them. I miss you. I know on the daily you deal with things as we all do, but I am here...can we talk?

MOSH by eminem

If you haven't heard this song you really need to cop it! Not a big fan of his but the message is real.

Where will your children be in 20 yrs?

Time for change... time for the real....

T.

It's in the eyes

He asked me how I was doing and I said smiled and said fine and he chuckled softly and said sista I'm a stranger but you don't have to lie. I see you really see you and I can see the pain in your eyes. I moved away softly shaken to my core. He did not follow of that I'm almost sure. As I shopped I became distraught can the whole world see my pain? Do I wear it like a cheap suit with plastic shoes?

Listen, you don't know me and you may never know me, but know that your pain is visible to those who wish to see it. I see it sista I see it. Your heart is crying, soul is suffering. You want to let it go but so afraid of losing face and self control. The world is on your shoulders and I see it I see it. When you cry out for relief it is real and I believe it.

Your eyes told me at their first glance, turmoil, self doubt, pain and aimless anger. Strong in what you want to be, but weak in the motivation to be you and only you. I saw it sista I saw it.

Anyone who looks in your eyes will see it feel it speak it be it know it own it and loathe it, for what it has done to you can not be undone...look into your eyes sista you will feel it speak it be it know it own it and loathe it and maybe that will set you free.

I finally understand

Yesterday it all just hit me like a ton of bricks, when the words finally came out after all these years I understood.

Then the spiral began and I stopped fighting and gave in to it. I understand why people just stop fighting. I cried all night and most of the day.

Haven't felt like this in so long. I'm scared and I'm tired. I'm in so much pain so much pain...what do people do when the pain is just too much and the darkness takes you... I finally understand...sometimes you just give in...

and on and on and on

My body is aching worked out with John and as usual he had no mercy. He told me I have a small frame and he wants me to enjoy it. Now that's something to think about.

I got a bikini wax today, feeling rather smooth at this point. Tomorrow is the big day and I'm trying to decide how things will go from here...

I'm sleepy but I don't want to go upstairs and pass out.

My exit package got turned down, no big shock there, but I'm still working on getting the fuck away from these people.

Forgiveness

Where do I begin? So many emotions today. Things I've been longing to release and just put into the universe. My words today are about releasing the pain of loving... of releasing the what-ifs. I poured out my soul and let it go. Forgiveness is a powerful thing, second only to love and I felt them both today in abundance.
Love has never left me. Just made itself at home in my heart and morphed into the desire for happiness. That love found it's way back to me and for that I am so very thankful. Turning coal into beautiful diamonds. Those diamonds caught the sunlight and took my breath away. This love has shaped me, made me afraid to face the world and ready to take it on all in the same moment.
I cried for times lost. I cried for the closeness that I've often needed and had to do without. I cried for all the times I heard that voice telling me

you're stronger than you even know,

I'm crying as I type this. I missed that love, longed to make wrongs right again. Learned to love in a whole different way, not less just different. Deep inside me I feel your pain. I carry you with me. I know today what I have always known deep down, we will always be connected...within spirits of forgiveness. As you stand on the peak of that next mountain conquering demons and pain, know that love is and always has been right where you left it...within me.

More than one way...

So I get an e-mail from that fat fuck that sits behind the desk. No more out for people wanting to bounce. Sent it to everyone, but I know that I'm the only one submitting paperwork right now. Sure he had a big ass smile on his ugly snaggled tooth mug when he sent it out, but hey I'm not letting this muthafucka step on me ya know?

There's more than one way to skin a fat cat. Had to take a deep breath when I read it the first time. More sorry paychecks to come. That gives me more time to stack my own paperwork when I jet. Everything happens for a reason. There's a reason I don't own a firearm ya heard? Got those little shivers going up my spine. The ones that let me know when shit is about to get real deep. Gonna start swimming my fat ass off real soon. FUCK 'EM!!! Politrickin' muthafuckas!

T.

I'm maintaining

It's been 2weeks since he left and I'm working it as well as I can. It's hard for me at times and at times I'm just moving too fast to notice anything. Not writing as much as I would like but hey so goes life. Twisted the hell out of my hair and I'm feeling the naps and loving what God gave me. It's nappy and it's all mine... I've got good things and bad things on my mind. The plot has thickened in Hell(work), but I didn't let on that I'm hip to the politricks of the ol' boys club. I ain't kissing no ones ass for 25k per yr! Fuck 'em...

Naps in demand


T.

Can't Explain

I'm feelin' on edge today! I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I feel like I'm on the edge of crying and laughing. I have so many things on my mind. I can't sort them all out. I found friendship when I least expected, just dropped into my inbox and made itself at home. I guess I'm a little throwed yes throwed not thrown! Fluidity, if that's a word just trying to move with it and not against it. But it leaves me afraid of reasons...