Finally

I sat on the edge of loving you today.

I felt it slowly as it shifted. I knew it was coming but had hoped it would pass in a gust of emotions leaving behind what this was in the beginning. Love, hope and friendship.

I can't even say it out loud, words have power I felt their power as I heard the words over and over in my head.

I'm tried of this crowded existence, I'm tried of being the first in line and the last one served. I can not and will not blame you. I played myself short. Accepted the unacceptable, loved through the pain of it never being enough.

I don't know how to do this, it seems that more and more I can not love you and love me at the same time. I haven't done either very well.

So I'm giving up the last spot and putting me first.

I did the math Love and if finally adds up.