I finally understand

Yesterday it all just hit me like a ton of bricks, when the words finally came out after all these years I understood.

Then the spiral began and I stopped fighting and gave in to it. I understand why people just stop fighting. I cried all night and most of the day.

Haven't felt like this in so long. I'm scared and I'm tired. I'm in so much pain so much pain...what do people do when the pain is just too much and the darkness takes you... I finally understand...sometimes you just give in...