Me and my fat ass

I'm in a good mood today. Rolled out of bed earlier than I would've liked but hey it's only sleep right? I call my moms because it's what I do on Sundays. We're not as close as we used to be but I'm learning not to be ashamed of who she is because she has helped to mold me into who I am...and I ain't half bad! I needed to run some errands so I take a quick shower and contemplated taking the braids out of my hair because I truly miss my naps, decided against that because I want to get it rebraided and I don't have time right now. SO I throw on a pair of jeans a shirt and flip flops, which is my weekend uniform, I've got to update my look but not now...I'm off to the store to get art supplies for J's project, food for the fam, seat cushions for my dinning room chairs , and a new tag for the newest member of our family Iris the terrier mutt whom I have fallen in love with even if she does shit like a great dane. As I'm walking from store to store I catch my profile in the window and I think to myself "DAMN!!!! I gotta fat ass!!!" Now this revelation would send the average white chick screaming and crying but I'm smiling like I'm the shit because I love my fat ass. I can be indentified from the back because it's so me! Now my stomach I'm not so very fond of but my ass, it's a winner. Even when I gain weight my ass is still an ASSet. Where I'm from a fat ass can get your car note paid. Maybe even the mortgage if you happen to stumble across the right ass lover. No other group of people have ass like the sistas. Some come close but no one on the planet has ass like us. FUCK J. Lo her ass is below average in my neighborhood. I mean maybe to the average white person her ass is all of that, but in the hood her ass ain't HALF of that! Not hatin' just telling the truth. I'm not an ass clapper, you know like those chicks in the videos but I can shake that laffy taffy when the mood hits me. So I'm never alone it's always me and my fat ass...."oh I like it like that!"