and the beats goes on.....

2 1/2 months into my challenge. I want a new winter jacket and new hat and gloves! Notice I say WANT not need. There's a sista on MySpace that makes some fly ass neck warmers and things. I'm staying strong. Jah needs a new coat, wore the last one for 2 seasons, we got our $30 worth. Syd wore hers for 2 seasons as well. So this is the year for new coats....for them. Boooo

He watches me...

His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me, thank you Lord.

I sing because I'm happy I sing because I'm free. His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me.

Amen

He watches me, I know he watches me.

I can

I keep telling myself I will not be defeated. Procrastination has come to bite me in my lazy ass. Over confident in time is my downfall. Not even I can put more hours in a day, more moments in the week. I don't always use my time wisely. I'm getting better at kicking my own ass. I'm my own best friend and worst enemy. I slacked off and paid the price. I can not afford to do that again. I'm wasting this blessing and it's shameful. I am all over the place and there never seems to be enough time to sleep and at times I'm sleeping when I shouldn't be. So today is a new day, overcast and foggy, but it was given to me, it is my own little piece of opportunity. I can do this. I will do this!

A+

So I'm doing my bimonthly house shopping today. Got up early to accomplish so I can study. I'm strolling in the frozen foods, my kiddos love frozen pancakes.

I happen up my once upon a time stalker,Tren. He smiles when he sees me with my cart full of stuff. He asks me if I'm feeding an army. I say yes and laugh. We make polite talk and he asks me if I've seen the new Tyler Perry movie. I tell him I have plans to see it but haven't made it yet. He asks me if I would like to go tonight....with him. I give him a stank look and tell him that married people don't date! He says it won't be date just two people at the same place at the same time watching the same movie. I decline his offer. I think there's something in the water that has made this man crazy as hell, but it made me laugh. I give him an A+ for creativity!

I love him

I think of him everyday all day. I miss him. I miss his voice, I miss his conversations. I imagine his arms in the darkness of midnight. I wish on every star in the sky that he is safe. The fullness of the moon is the fullness I feel in my heart for him. I miss his smell fresh out of the shower. I miss his feet tangled in my mine before the sun rises. I'm counting the days until he is home with me. Holding me in his arms. It is times like these I can't think of how I could ever live my life without him. I love him. Hurry home baby.

Live... Love.... Learn....

I'm getting my learn on. Doing well in my classes. Looking forward to next term when the subject matter is a little lighter. Finishing this degree ain't no joke, but I'm going to get all I can on their dime

Love ya Ains!

Happy Birthday Ains. It was good to see him with a genuine smile. Balloons and cheesecake. Gotta love fat free fridays! He's one of my closet friends. I love his advice and wisdom. I admire and respect him. Island mon. :-) I'm so silly!

Last night...

She called me last night, didn't know if she just wanted to get info or if she was trying to work me. She let me know he's contacted her. I only had one question..."when?" I let if roll of me after about 5 minutes. If that's where she wants to be, she can be right there. I'm cool with that. Slept like baby...sho nuf.

Psst......

How do you tell someone to get out of your dreams? I woke up in a panic, searching my mind for him. I hadn't thought of him in a long while. I thought I had put it to rest. My mind is now telling me otherwise. We were so close. When I think of him now I can no longer think of only the good times. It brings upon a sadness, a longing that invades the emptiness that is his betrayal. Did he really betray me? Can someone betray you without knowing it? Am I selfish to have asked him to give something he wasn't completely able? I close my eyes and I see that smile, hear his laugh. It hurts. I love him. I miss my best friend. Psssst...Juanito get out of my dreams. I hope you are safe. <3

Congrats on the promotion Nando...."hey it's the fuckin' Air force!"


miss you