Hey you!!! old guy SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

So I live in whiteisrightville. I know my kids are physically safe here but I worry about their mental health, living in such a small overly religious town. My plan is to get them out of here as quick as possible, but Mama got to put in work before we can make that move to browner pastures.

These folks around these parts were heated and more than a little insane when Obama won the nomination. I don't speak about politricks because I feel that 99.9978 percent of public servants ain't serving nothing but some bullshit. So when office talk turns to politricks I just find other things to do. I have my thoughts and opinions and I'm not setting out to change anyones POV. I'll keep mine and I would appreciate if everyone else kept theirs.

No Such Luck

So the old vets start talking, I've found that they will talk just to keep breathing most times. They are discussing politricks and H. Clinton and Obama. Well wouldn't you know I couldn't escape. So one old fart decides to start in on Obama. I'm cool with that, his POV. Then he just starts saying all kinds of shit that don't make a bit of sense.

He CLAIMS that the hospital Obama was born in did not exist at the time he was born so if Obama wasn't born in Hawaii as he claims then he's not an american citizen so he can't be president. I'm laughing because he just sounds ignorant as hell.

Hey old guy SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm sure many are blinded by the brown of Obama's skin, yeah his house nigger brown, but he's brown just the same. What many of these old farts fail to realize is......drum roll please.....OBAMA'S MAMA IS A WHITE WOMAN FROM KANSAS!!!

Many people are ignorant to the fact that citizenship is determined by the maternal side. It seems that the law passed to keep our GI's illegitimate war babies from claiming american citizenship in fact MAKES Obama an american citizen with all the right and privileges afforded to ALL of us in the constitution.

I really understand why these vets are all wore out...it must be hard work to be old and stay ignorant as fuck.

The live version of this song brought tears to my eyes. Made my heart yearn. Her album is suppose to be dropping soon. I wish she would do a slower version than the one that is out right now, but I will take this one for the time being... Don't sleep on this young lady...she's fiyah! Reminds me a little of old lauren hill, but she is uniquely her own...listen closely to the chorus...fiyah!




<3

New Blackberry...New Ringtone

Speaks the truth and you know it...<3

It's love every last single solitary feeling is love.

For you I would give my life.

For us I will wait patiently doing the math and waiting until it all adds up.

Sunday

Feeling a tad bit better today...nervous about tomorrow...

He's walking around like a bear with a tooth ache...looking at houses in Toni Town...dreaming of a larger space and a job that keeps him off the roads of Iraq.

I'm excited and scared about my life right now...trying to turn my back on the darkness. I want to be a darkness killing ninja...take that take that!!!

NO MORE MEDS...Goddess help me find my peace...help me stay out of the darkness.

Missing Link

So I decided to stop linking to my blog from my favorite site. I had kept the link in my siggy for a long while...but time brings about a change.

I know that I'm 'bout to go through some shit. Some painful life changing shit and I just didn't want to share that with er'rybody.

I know the place I'm headed it to, that dark place that causes me to rage and purge.

I need this space for me, I need to write without thinking "oh shit they gonna see this" Now ion care what 99.997% of folks think of me. But I need to do me in a way that ain't for no one but me.

If you found your way here, feel free to stay. Iff'n you don't like what you read, if it upsets you or makes you uncomfortable. Go the fuck to your own house.

This blog used to be called I ain't giving a fuck....believe that.

BLOGS

I love to write I feel like if I had a pen and pad in the womb I would've come out holding some bold shit...I was a c-section baby so it's possible. Wouldn't have had to worry about bringing my heart's words through the noot noot.

I don't read many blogs, I'm real critical about words because my love for and of them is deep and guttural.

I read Terry on the regular cause that dude just says whatever the hell is on his mind...I picture him smoking his cigar and thinking of fat asses....

I read Thelma when she decides to grace me with some words (yeah I just called you out...but I understand that writing comes from a place that don't always give us things on OUR schedule)

I read lib and giggle's baby journey and I laugh and cry, because there is nothing like motherhood (good and bad)

I USED to read Don ER'RYDAY, but it is no mo' so I just shout him out when he comes to my "house"

I read UterusX2 because I love their baby journey and the Hudson makes me want to get a spoon and eat his fat little cheeks...

That pretty much sums it up...but I do check links that have been hit from my page (I be in stealth mode :-P )

A lot of ya'll be looking and reading and don't say shit...I'm cool with that but I see you though! LOL!!

Come into the light...

I went to my session with Dr. O, we again discussed my anger and ways to get through these feelings.

I stopped taking my meds because I was still angry, but it killed my sex drive and made me feel mushy...if that makes any sense.

He's saying there are certain things in my life that I have to turn my back on. I can't and I won't. This is me and I have to find a way to get back to the light.

Darkness has taken over my life. Nothing seems to matter all that much. Thank Goddess it's summer session and I'm not getting in over my head yet.

Fall session is fast approaching, I just received my acceptance letter for the fall session. I need to see the nursing school admin on Monday to set up my classes. One step closer to my BSN.

We have already decided if he gets moved to Toni Town I will stay here if I get accepted to the RN program in the spring. I'm not upset at all, I feel like this takes the pressure off. I don't HAVE to....

If I don't get into PH then I'm off to Toni Town...

I feel like the anger is eating me up inside. I'm drinking more than I have in a looong time. Eating myself into a sugar coma. I've stopped leaving the house (unless I'm shopping) and I can feel the darkness as soon as I wake up. I miss the light.

RESENTMENTS & FORGIVENESS

So it's back to counseling on monday....I have to write a list of RESENTMENTS and things I want to ask FORGIVENESS for.

I have a feeling one list will be much longer than the other.

Freedom to choose...

I have no problem with personal choice, well maybe I do but I try to front like I want everyone to be free to choose how they live their lives. I think my way of thinking for the most part is the correct way...I mean doesn't everyone though?

So we had a fatality 2 blocks from my house. In whitepeopleville where I live it was big news...it went something like this...

Man+motorcycle=death! Now I plan to get myself a cute little ninja (hopefully) dropped 2 inches so I can touch the ground (if you're laughing you can leave now) BUT I do plan to ride safely. While I know I can't control traffic and all the beckies and chads I will wear the proper protective gear!

Silly man mentioned above decided he didn't need a helmet, and he surely doesn't need one now...death due to severe head trauma. Freedom of choice strikes again.

So if people are going to be free to choose how they ride, I think it's only fair they should have to carry at least 1 million dollars in insurance( to cover long term and short term medical care and rehabilitation costs) and a certified signed organ donor card.

Iff'n you are going to stop your cycle with your head, someone( those waiting and dying for organs) should benefit from your stupidity and selfishness.

In the good news...

CONGRATS LIB AND GIGGLE!!!!!


May you have health and happiness on this journey into a love like you have never known!

YAY Me!

So my day has passed. YAY! me!

Such a blessing. I LITERALLY sat around naked and had some tasty drinks. That's all I wanted to do and I did exactly that.

I'm off my meds AGAIN!! Feeling alright for now, but for some reason this time on them, my sex drive has fallen to -73...me no want the ding a ling? That hasn't happened in the past. Boooo meds.

My eating is horrible! I mean just awful! I'm going to be 200lbs if I don't watch out. Red Bull and donut holes have become the enemy. Oh how I lurve them so....bitches!