It's true

It's true that little girls become women and fall in love with men who are like their daddy.

I am a daddy's girl, from the tip of my longest loc to the soles of my feet.

I love my daddy flaws and all.

He taught me through his own mistakes, if I held my head and heart just right disappointments looked like opportunities.
So today I will take this "opportunity" to express myself.


I am 38 hot right now!!! (Shout out to Thelma)

Damn ninja! I'm not even asking you to meet me half way. Not asking you to turn your world upside down. Shit, I ain't even trying to change who you are.

Just like my daddy ninjas make promises they can't keep. Seeking my light to illuminate his darkness, but falling short...again.

I used to ask my daddy to give me the world but stopped when I realized he is just a man...just as you are just a man.

I will stop asking and simply do for me...today for me I put on those sexy panties, the ones that are cut low in the back and tie on the sides.

So when you finally get the wind in your hair. I will meet YOU half way, because I am YOUR girl and I love you flaws and all.

Ride

I am longing for someone to talk dirty to me. Sweet mercy. I need to ride some dick...today...not tomorrow. Longing for someone to suck my clit and I would gladly return the honor. Longing for someone to run their tongue over my nipples. Longing for someone to devour me.

This shit is not fair!

Uncle Sam...the nation's biggest cock blocker!

YOU....

Stop being such a fucking hater damn!

Happy Birthday Thelma

Today is her day, the day of her beginning.

She is the mirror to my soul...a sista, a writer, a poet.

We share the same goal. To express ourselves, pen to paper. Heart exposed.

I thank her for encouraging me to be a better prose conductor.
I thank her for her words of wisdom.
I thank her for being the Thelma to my Louise.
I thank her for making me want to do better, be better.
I thank her for understanding my heart's desires.

On this day I hope you find joy in being blessedly wonderfully you.

I love you girl <3

Happy Birthday!!!!

My pussy

My pussy is wet...thoughts of you

I am destined...

While the tension between my shoulders is intense. My mind is relaxed.

I feel this energy running through my body like a freight train. Want. Need.

Within my grasps, but not mine...not yet.

It's like fever without the heat, rolling across my body. Resting between my shoulders... waiting.

What could have taken me over, simply took me.

Everyday does not bring opportunity to focus on the intensity of want, the intensity on the edge of need.

Hot with anger in one moment, weak from need in another.

Here I sit hot and stronger in love than ever.

Closing my eyes for this moment...takes me back to you, where I am destined to be.

Sorry

I'm sorry you are hurting today.
I'm sorry for the pain and distance in your heart.
I'm sorry you are crossing that thin line between love and hate.
I'm sorry I can do nothing, but offer my time.
I'm sorry the word divorce has become a part of your hearts vocabulary.
I'm sorry that for today love is not enough.

Because I'm blessed!

On the days I feel like I don't want to do it. I think of my Granny(RIP) cleaning and cooking for white folks all her life. I know I am blessed to have the opportunity to finish my education. I think of all my ancestors who were bought and sold, who NEVER had the chances I have been given. I think of my children and what my example will mean to them some day (or even today) and on the days when all that doesn't help, I cry and then I feel a little bit better

PENIS

Sweet Mercy!

I need some PENIS! It's been forever since I've had some yum yum!

Ms. Layla got some new jewelry and she's wanting some company!

I want to see it, touch it, taste it, feel it. I WANT SOME YUM YUM!!!

It just ain't right. I'm in my sexual prime and I can't get none. The need is driving me crazy. My nipples stay hard all day long...it's painful. They need some lovin'. A little flick of the tongue, lips on my skin.

Sometimes my clit starts this thumping thing, like a beat of an African drum. Speaking to my core, setting the beat of my heart.

My thighs long for bruising, friction.

Soft, rough, gentle, fast, slow, r e a l slow.

I miss the tip, the head, the shaft, that little spot just under the head. I miss the balls, their texture, the taste, the weight of them.


I NEED PENIS!!!

I'm suppose to writing a paper on cloning for my nursing Psych class. I decided to run some errands and then get to work (yeah right!)

I also decided to stop by my favorite piercing shop and change out my jewelry.


I have a thing for piercings, I've loved piercings since BEFORE they were on everybody's every where. I have 6 ear piercings, one nose piercing and the hood of my clit is pierced for the 2nd time.

I got a nice little diamond stud for the top of my right ear and a small gold hoop in the top of my left ear. I got a cute pink O ring for my clit hood. It is so sexy to me to see that pink ring peeking out of all my goodness. I can't wait to show that one off....pics coming soon.....














NOT.

Getting ready....check

Toothbrush...check
Toothpaste...check
Body Wash...check
Loofah...check
Body Oil..check
Cute Thongs...check
Cute Panties...check
Cute Bras...check
Cute Jeans...check
Cute Tops...check
Come Fuck Me Pumps...check
High Heel Boots...check
Make Up...check
Perfume..check
Diva Attitude...check
Vacay Loot...check

I was disappointed. I can't say it wasn't expected. It's not the first time (the disappointment). There are times in your mind when you think, not this time. When that time comes you feel it and a small part of you expected (the disappointment) anyway. I just shook my head and laughed (disappointed). My life is different, not better not worse just different. One(disappointing) monkey don't stop my show!

Tamiflu got dat ass!

So I'm laid up on the couch like I'm going through withdrawal.

Baby girl got the flu and then passed it on to me.

Oh the aches and the chills and the cough and did I mention the aches?

So the doc prescribes some Tamiflu for the both of us.

Oh how I love you Tamiflu.

I felt like Tamiflu was kicking the shit out of the flu virus. Whipping dat ass! I uncurled on the couch and picked up my laptop...take that flu virus...how's it feel to get fucked up..huh? Tamiflu on dat ass. Run run run... here it comes....run flu run.

Take that Tamiflu bitch and don't bring ya ass back 'round here!

It was all gonna be different

I remember when I went back home in '98 to be matron of honor in my BFF's wedding. I had been in the military in NC. We had never been apart by geographical distant for such a long time. I missed her something terrible and I think we both had begun to grow into the people we were destined to become.

I hadn't met the man she was to marry. My first encounter with him was at the airport. He seemed like a nice enough guy, he was white and I didn't think KC would EVER marry white man. She had ALWAYS talked about having obviously mexican/native american children. Her biracial background had always caused her to question where she stood. She swore her children would not live that.

I remember we hung out a lot prior to the wedding. I had only been married a short time. My marriage was in a very bad place. KC had always been the romantic type, love will conquer all, love everlasting type. I didn't talk about my hubster AT ALL, but I talked ( I guess too much) about my best friend Juan. I was sitting across from her fiance' when he asked me why I talked about Juan and not my husband. KC looked at me, her eyes begging me to be gentle with him
(she was always nice to strays) I took a minute and then I smiled and told him...I talk about Juan so much because he is the most important man in my life right now. I thought the fiance' would pass out right there at the table. He tried to recover and then he said...but you're married. As if that was all the explanation that was needed. I smirked ready to break it down for him, but KC looked so afraid. I wanted her to be happy with this guy. So I told him his words were words of someone who OBVIOUSLY wasn't married to MY husband.

KC and talked later and she asked me why I had gotten married? I told her I loved him, but love wasn't always enough. She got this look on her face as if to say it would be different for her that love would be enough.

It's been almost ten years and guess what...it wasn't, not even close.

I know before I got married I would look at married people and wonder why their marriages seems so difficult. I placed blame and shook my head, they just hadn't married the right person.
I knew my marriage was gonna be different...it wasn't.

It takes a lot of work to make a marriage last, it takes more than love...it takes courage.

Courage to love through the bad times. Courage to lay yourself open and admit it just might be YOUR issues that are fucking things up, or at least adding to the strain. It takes courage to forgive and take love for what it is...a gift.

@3 o'clock

Your heart and mine

I often wonder if we are walking the same life path...

Walking the same path away from them towards each other