It hurts...

It hasn't even been a week but I miss him so much it hurts. I haven't cried yet...meds must be working. My support system has kicked in and they call and check on us. That makes me feel good. I know we are blessed and I try to see that everyday, but in the quiet moments at night when I'm laying in bed the absence of his breathing is almost unbearable. Jah cries most nights, he feels alone because daddy is his best friend and his partner in crime. I try to soothe him, but I can see in his eyes it's not enough. I don't take it personally. I know his daddy feels the same way about him. Syd cries a little but only when she can hear her brother's pain. J has really manned up, his daddy is counting on him to help and he won't let him down. I will stay strong for them. During the sunlight hours I am at my strongest. I CAN do this. I WILL do this!