Just me?

I would not allow her to speak his name. We have a nickname for him so I don't ever have to say his name out loud. It may sound silly to some but words have power and speaking his name allows him to live in a part of my mind. To invade my dreams. I am trying to see clearly to cut through the bullshit and deal with the truth and what is real. I have found it is an everyday process.

She is not getting married now. Moving back to GA to start her life over. I felt the pain in her words. She is strong but the pain is still real. I pray for her and her happiness as I pray for my own awakening, my own strengthening.

There are moments when I wonder how I came to be in this place and at what moment will I see clearly and move to another moment of being just me?