Just Rambling....

So I'm feeling lots better my mental is more stable and I'm smiling whenever I feel like it. I'm seeing the light at the end of this dark tunnel. BUT my meds have completely thrown me off my sex game...I'm like damn what's the point in smiling if you can't have a complete body orgasms BODYGASM! I think about sex all the time, it feels good when he's inside me, but I haven't had a "me" moment in over a month. Ain't that some shit? So Dr. D says just wait it out, and I'm thinking muthafucka I ain't cumming I need that shit! You wait it out! But then I laugh and think about the good ol' days when my nipples would pop up like tasty jelly beans and begged to be nibbled. I think of the times when I would almost slide off the bed because I was so wet. I miss the times of cumming in no time flat. Now it's just work. What's the point of getting turned on if that's all there is? GETTING TURNED ON... Thank goodness I can't get "blue balls". Oh well....starting fitness bootcamp...John is mad cause I've been backsliding on the fitness game, but I'm dropping pounds, mostly muscle I'm sure because these meds are messing with my intake. Going to talk to Dr.McB see if this can be fixed quick like.

I lost a friend this week, don't think this person was a true friend. Just someone in crisis. It's sad because I'm not all that torn up about the loss. I can't deal with weak people, I always feel it's contagious in some way. Like it's going to rub off on me. I've found there are times when being weak isn't a bad thing, but seeing it over and over again is very iritating for a chick like me.