Heard

So I was on my favorite board and it asked when do you know it's over? I didn't want to read the thread because some where in me I guess I know. SO now he's not talking to me...well gee don't do me any favors man. It's hard to be heard here but it's even harder to walk away. 9yrs is a long time to love someone but 7yrs is a long time to hurt. I'm trying to find me again to be the person I've been looking for. To walk away and break up my family and take away from my kids the things I wanted so badly when I was small. I see him with them and I wish I could feel that love from him. It seems so easy and so natural, but us together...actions speak louder than words I know what needs to be done I just don't know how to do it.
It seems like no matter what I say it always comes back to my shortcomings, my flaws. I know I have flaws I'm the one who has to deal with what is in my head everyday, but just once I would like to be heard and not made to feel that what I'm feeling is so fucking foreign to be believed or understood.
I can't get him to talk to me, and I'm done trying. I feel like I'm shutting down to get away from whatever is going on inside my head. I can hear myself clearly and I understand myself quite clearly, but can I stand to listen to what I truly HAVE to say?

Healthy

Go ahead and disregard the things I have said. Treat my words as nothing more than a nuisance that you brush off. I know what I know and I'm well enough not to back down. Medicine is a beautiful thing. My mental is shaky so the fuck what! But for you to turn your back on me and treat my feelings my warnings as if they are nothing has lead me to a place I don't want to be. I told you once to beware of the people around you and that almost destroyed me. Not this time, I will turn my back and walk away from you and everything that I have known for so long. Listen to me feel what I am saying...My dreams, my gut tell me I am not crazy, I know what I know and maybe I don't know you, but I know me. I can't make you listen to me, but I can protect myself from the one person who is supposed to protect me from the one thing I have feared...betrayal. I'm a smart woman I know that to be true, so how can my wisdom not be real, why can I not perhaps see things and action you see and deny or simply don't see? Getting healthy is a powerful thing!