alone

I feel so alone today. Feel like I haven't had an adult conversation in days...
Maybe I'll take a nap, probably not

T.

My Reality

I've been thinking lately really thinking about my life. I came to the realization that I give others more freedom of thought and expression than I do myself. If someone were to come to me and say I hate my mother I would tell them they had every right to own those feeling, but if for one moment I thought "gee I hate my mother" I wouldn't allow myself the luxury of that thought for even an instant. I have always been that way. If I feel something I don't allow myself the full scope of it. I just try to think of something else. I'm not allowed to feel what I feel it's ultimately wrong because I am feeling it. It just hit me all at once, I'm simply not allowed.

T.

Well Alrighty Then!

Worked out with John today. I'm hurting and want to curl up and sleep. I lost 3% body fat in the last 5wks. Don't know how the hell I did that. Mad at myself because if I had stuck to the plan then it would've been more. Better next month.

Back to work tomorrow not looking forward to that at all. It's going to be a long 5wks.

Trying not to think to deeply. Enjoying the day! That's been a long time coming.

T.

When the words don't come

I'm waiting and waiting for the words to come to me but right now they aren't there. I don't know if it's fear or what but it really makes me feel out of sorts like my heart is missing something. I love words. They are so powerful. I miss them when the don't flow freely.

T.

Gettin' My Buzz On!!!

Finally got the power back on after 2 1/2 days of being all hot and sweaty and not in a good way ya know?

About to submit my package so I can roll out of the military and be free to do me.

I'm having a few drinks and feeling oh so light right now.

MANGO RUM, if you get a chance get some, mix with a clear soda of your choice a little ice and you have yourself a happy time.

Smilin' my ass off right now. Gonna dream of all kinds of sweetness tonight

;-)