Wide Open

I dreamt about you last night and I knew. Something inside of me burst wide open and I couldn't pretend like you didn't matter anymore.
As the phone rang I hoped and prayed I'd hear your voice. 9 mths. DAMN!!!
I was angry at you for your shortcomings, I wanted you to feel all of the emotions that were colliding inside me.
Today my heart is heavier than it has been in a long time. Reminds me of the time there was such distance between me and chi chi (shout out lil sis!)
Today nothing else seems to matter but hearing your voice and knowing you're mind and heart are in the right place.
I am terrified for you, but if you give me the chance, I will be your rock offering you prayer, love and my shoulder. Friendship, maybe I needed the definition not you. I love you. I pray for your safety and sanity. Hotep.